Coming Out of Compassion

To be human means many things, but most of all it means being born of instinct. And we’re not just talking one, we homo sapiens come into this world with a host of instinctual behaviors and reflexes. Of them all, arguably the strongest is our sense of self-preservation.

It’s why we duck and cover, try to catch ourselves when we fall, and experience the fight or flight response when we feel threatened. When you’re literally hard-wired to defend, protect, and do whatever is necessary to ensure you continue on, it can make navigating tough times like these more difficult, especially if that instinct develops into the adage by which you live.

When our defenses are high in survival mode, we tend to make decisions out of fear, we experience increased worry and stress, and can close ourselves off due to mistrust and cynicism. Our world starts to feel ever smaller as we build up a growing number of personal boundaries, until eventually we’ve all but completely isolated ourselves. And since we carry our mentalities with us wherever we go, it’s plain to see how “staying in your own lane” can easily lead to just putting on the blinders whether at work or with those you love.

The problem with that is our world is made up of countless connections and relationships, and thus relationship-driven business. The need for collaboration to accomplish things is everywhere. The “it’s not my job” or “not my problem” attitude, where everyone operates in their own silos, can slowly erode a company’s culture, and even societal structures.

When you begin to recognize that we’re each part of a greater whole, you open yourself up to the idea that it’s our connections, not our divisions, that make us most powerful. Each civilization and organization is nothing more than the sum of its parts. Drill down and you see those parts aren’t manufactured goods, economies, or systems. What makes any of them great are the people, the unique souls full of feeling, creativity, and ingenuity at their core.

When we look beyond ourselves, it’s impossible not to see the life and human connection that’s all around us. But you have to allow it in, let it touch you on an emotional level, so you can in turn empathize instead of sympathizing. It’s not about solving the world’s problems. Just by practicing random acts of kindness and connection, each of us is capable of being an individual catalyst who creates a better culture, outlook, or future, no matter where we go. And yes, it can be achieved through the compounding of even these smallest of gestures:

• Instead of disengaging or trying to maximize your time on that transit commute, put the devices away and take in the world around you.
• Make eye contact with people and smile. Say thank you, hold that door, or return something someone dropped or left behind.
• Sit in the cafeteria at work or school, or around a dinner table with your family and friends. Better still, why not cook that meal together, or meet people at a restaurant if you can, instead of ordering take out.
• Join a few coworkers or friends for a lunch hour walk, gym session, or at an après meeting place.
• Call someone instead of texting them or plan a get-together.
• Join a class, club, or association. And, if you’re feeling bold, go it alone and challenge yourself to sit with or participate with people you don’t know.

We can’t wait for things to change. Deciding to make small moves every day will imbue your life and world view with compassion. In our house, we have a daily dinner table practice of thinking about and sharing how we filled someone’s bucket. It can be the simplest of acts, but this small practice helps us recognize those lovely moments that can have big impacts, which are especially important on the hard days.

No one is saying healthy boundaries, self-care, and listening to your body aren’t essential, what it’s truly about is achieving a good harmony between taking care of yourself and considering those around you. We cannot exist solely for ourselves when we’re so intrinsically connected to this earth, its nature, and to our fellow man. There must be room for compassion and connectivity, for it is through both that we shine a light and continue to grow.

Written by Melanie Robitaille

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